


We're Strangers Now.

by Hell_Serpent



Category: Baka to Test to Shokanju | Baka and Test: Summon the Beasts
Genre: But damn Hideyoshi has the right to be angry, Depression, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt, Family, Family Drama, Family Feels, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Hatred, He just gives up and believes his sister, He's just tired to think, He's not naive, He's so confused and filled with self-hatred, Heavy Angst, Hideyoshi just admires his sister, Hurt No Comfort, I'm Sorry, Isolation, Jealousy, Misgendering, No Incest, Probably not the happy ending you'd expect, Self Comfort Eventually, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Destruction, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Siblings, Teen Angst, Twins, Unaware Agender Hideyoshi, he's sick of forgiving
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-21 03:15:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17035546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hell_Serpent/pseuds/Hell_Serpent
Summary: He loves her.She hates him.It's a never ending cycle of hurt and regret but only one side will ever feel the pain.That is until he learns the meaning of hate.





	1. You Hate Me?

Why was she so  _angry_ with him? Did he do something wrong? Then what? He's been a good little brother hasn't he?

 

He's done everything for her. Even going so far as to pose as her just to make her look like a model student. He agreed not just because she was asking - _forcing_  - him.

 

He loved her. He admired his twin because unlike him, she was perfect. She was athletic, strong and smart. He was  _nothing_ compared to her and his parents reminded him every. single. day.

 

He was  _nothing._ So he accepted because he gets this false confidence when he acts like his sister. He feels like he is  _something._

 

But why does she hate him so much? What did he do? Was he really such an idiot he didn't even know why he was making her pissed off?

 

Or...

 

Was he - _his very being -_ enough to make his better half hate him?

 

If he thinks about it. It made sense to him.

 

After all.

 

He was a-

 

_"No good crossdressing feminine freak! I hate you!"_

 

_'You...hate me..?'_

 

_Hideyoshi could only look at his sister - the better one, no. The perfect half, something he shouldn't even be worthy to be born with - with cold eyes, a sad smile as he felt **numb.**_

 

_"That's okay..." He mumbles softly as he looks down to stop the tears from falling._

 

**'I hate me too.'**


	2. He's In His Own World.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And slowly but surely.
> 
> He's slipping away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're a reader of mine, you've probably noticed I have some fics that have Dissociation in the tags.
> 
> It's because I dissociate (which happens randomly and sometimes I don't even notice-) a lot but it's not that simple? and whenever I do I just get the urge to write angst along with the feeling.
> 
> I guess I just wanted to describe this weird feeling that nobody else but me understands. Especially when it isn't medically confirmed (I barely visit hospitals for my health because on the outside I'm pretty healthy. Inside? not so much.)

He wants to scream. He wants to laugh, cry,  _anything._ But he doesn't and he just continues with his life as if nothing happened. Sure he's been more reserved but he was usually quiet and no one chooses to hear him anyway.  _So why bother?_

 

_'Maybe because it makes me feel I'm alive and not some hollow shell.'_

 

But wasn't that what he truly is? Just a carbon copy that should have never existed in the first place?

 

He's not even truly a boy. Everyone just thinks of him as a girl but  _he is not._

 

It makes him even more confused on why he's not even trying to prove himself as a male. In fact, he's also bothered being to referred to as one.

 

_Was he really a freak?_

 

_"Why do you even ask? Of course you are. No wonder you're such an idiot."_

 

_Hideyoshi doesn't say or ask anything anymore. He simply nods and smiles up at his sister._

 

**'She's always right. Why would I doubt her?'**

 

**'Yuuko's right. I'm nothing but a freak.'**


End file.
